Don’t let your children suck tea bags (and other important lessons)

June 30th, 2005 at 9:27 pm by james

It transpires that last night’s pony fixation and lack of sleep may have had more to do with the caffeine in used tea bags than with manic over-tiredness. This inspires me to update my top five hot tips:

1. Never let your children play with tea bags. Even if you think they’re just squeezing the water out of them for fun. It’s not fun.

2. Always have the new nappy ready before you take the old one off. Never be tempted to “just let her/him air for a bit” unless you have a new nappy ready and are keeping a beady eye out for sphincter strains.

3. Swimming is to be encouraged, but only with a properly fitted swim nappy. See previous pontification.

4. If you use an over-and-under buggy like Phil & Ted’s Most Excellent one, do not let the toddler try to climb into the infant cradle. This is not optional and should never be confused with yet another display of climbing prowess. This rule should be emphasised to said toddler so that she/he doesn’t try it while you’re not around. These buggies cannot flip forwards, but they certainly can flip back, leaving toddler standing in the carry-cot cavity wearing the buggy like a mini submarine. Muffled cries for help with no child in evidence …

5. Never let your children taste green chillies stuffed with feta and myzithra cheese. Even if they beg incessantly. It might feel like it’d serve them right, right up until just after they try it. It is very difficult to stop chillies from burning. Pepper, mustard, red wine, radishes are all fine … never chillies (stuffed or not).

2 Responses to “Don’t let your children suck tea bags (and other important lessons)”

  1. Kerry-b Says:

    I’m glad it wasn’t a toddler & an infant in the mini submarine.

  2. gill adlard Says:

    She’ll never ask to eat a chillie again – all part of the learning process!

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